Courtesy rules maintain and improve healthy social relationships, we start learning these rules since childhood and must implement them thought our life, they tell us how we must conduct ourselves in society. In Today’s world, many of these rules have been shaped both by the culture in which we live in and today’s modern world, nevertheless they will never stop being important as it is with these common courtesy rules that we show others around us respect.
But, do we really know how to conduct ourselves in society? How to create and maintain good connections with others? Is only following our instincts in our personal life or in meetings, weddings, interviews, network events, the best idea for our own benefit when it comes to having polished soft skills?
Without a doubt everyone has a personal belief system that must be respected and appreciated, but there is one aspect that is universal and common among any society and belief system: there are certain rules and codes of behavior that are made to generate a better flow and a better environment of respect in any desired context.
These 11 rules of courtesy will help you take care and improve your current and future relationships in your life. Although these rules are not enough to completely cover social etiquette, just by correctly applying these 11 rules you can position yourself to be a poised and well-mannered person. Remember that etiquette will be different depending on the culture or context, but it always has one thing in common: Valuing others around you (Respect).
1. Be on time
Punctuality is one of the most important qualities we can have and the one that defines us the most. Responsibility and punctuality go hand in hand, they are intrinsically related elements. When you are late you make others wait which makes them waste time. It is considered a lack of courtesy and manners.
2. Knowing how to greet
A greeting is a gesture of courtesy that must be made to everyone, regardless of their age, social status, beliefs and degree of closeness you have, but the way you greet does change depending on this degree of closeness or relationship you have. The way you greet can make a huge impact on the impression you give to others, you might have seen yourself in a situation in which you were giving a handshake to someone who didn’t even try to look you in the eyes when you met. Shaking hands and not showing a minimum level of interest in the other person can leave a bad first impression on anyone and it can have bad repercussions in the future.
3. Knowing how to make an introduction
Socially or professionally you will have to make introductions. If you find yourself talking with two people who don’t know each other, make sure you do a proper introduction, by doing this we make sure neither of them feel excluded. An exception would be a very large event where the host cannot be with every guest, nor make introductions during the whole event. In this case, the host can count on friends to make proper introductions among the guests who do not know each other. You might think this is obvious, but I can’t tell you how many times I have arrived to meet someone, and I haven’t been introduced, leaving both the person I don’t know and me in an awkward position, when this happens I will go ahead and introduce myself.
4. Dress code
Socially and at work, we will have dress codes that we must respect and follow. When we follow the dress code for a certain occasion or setting, we feel more confident and we give a great impression to others which gives us a better chance of bonding with the people who are there. Your outfit and the way you present yourself works as your personal business card in the eyes of others. Make sure you dress according to where, what, how and when.
5. Knowing how to have an assertive conversation
Conversations are a crucial aspect of social or professional relations. You must know how and what to talk about with poise, presence, and confidence.
6. Knowing how to listen
Talking and listening are the two main ingredients of any conversation and we must make sure they are balanced. It is equally important to know how to actively listen when we have a conversation with others. Pay attention to the conversation, don’t multitask, and be open to hearing different opinions than yours.
7. Dining etiquette
Having knowledge in dining etiquette is almost as important as knowing how to have a great conversation. How you sit at the table, unfold the napkin on your lap, how you use the utensils and how you behave at the table will not only make others at ease, but it will give either an amazing impression of you or a terrible one.
8. Be respectful
People have different beliefs, ideas and ways of seeing things. As a society, we have become highly intolerant to other’s opinions and beliefs. Having different opinions does not mean you cannot have an interesting conversation. If we maintain a level of respect: we do not put down or make offensive remarks, we will be able to effectively listen to different points of view. Denying respect to anyone around you, spreading false testimonies or humiliating people with inappropriate comments, will ruin your relationships and severely affect you when you are meeting others or socializing with people you already know.
9. Be friendly and kind
It is important to treat others with kindness and courtesy, it is very easy to do and it gives you and others a lot in return, you could make someone’s day significantly better even by just doing one act of kindness and nothing will give you more satisfaction than knowing you made a difference. An offensive comment, a rude gesture, a disrespectful tone of voice … are behaviors that do not favor a good coexistence between people. If instead, we behave politely, we say “please”, “thanks”, we apologize … we will improve our relationships with others, help maintain a more cordial and peaceful coexistence among members of our society and we will teach kids by example how they should behave.
10. Hygiene above all
Not only does this mean cleanliness. There are certain behaviors that must be done in private, not in front of others. For example, in restaurants cleaning your teeth with a toothpick, blowing your nose, brushing your hair, clipping your nails are examples of things you must always do in private.
11. Know how to say goodbye
The greeting is the start and the goodbye is the conclusion. Not only are first impressions important, but the last impression you give is also extremely important. The goodbye should be brief and cordial. Never leave without saying goodbye and thanking the person who invited you.
“Good manners reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” – Emily Post
