They told us that if we studied hard and worked hard we would end up with the “happily ever after”
We weren’t told the whole truth…
It is with studies like the one done by Harvard that followed three generations of participants for 80 years that tell us the secret of real joy and happiness. The study started in 1938 and it is one of the longest studies ever done. It turns out that the key to real happiness is not being popular, having the job of your dreams, having lots of money or having the best physical health. This study showed us a fascinating truth behind people who are happy and fulfilled.
What differentiates happy people from others is: their social relationships
According to Robert Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of this study, “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships have a powerful influence on our health,”
It was the quality of their relationships, feeling valued and loved by others that separated these people from the rest of the population. These people felt support in difficult times and had somebody to share their joyous moments. Having healthy and close relationships is what made these people truly happy.
Fortunately, research also has shown that emotional intelligence and social skills can be learned and developed over time. You might think you were born with these abilities but that is very far from the truth, you probably learned them during your childhood, this is why it is so important to not only acquire these skills as adults but also as parents so we can better prepare our kids, as it is the relationships they make with their family, teachers, and peers that is going to give them a better chance to be truly happy in their lives.
Imagine you were able to:
Fell confident and relaxed when meeting new people. Stop feeling anxious or stressed due to poor social skills.
- Having a healthy and strong self-esteem.
- Knowing how to manage and express your emotions so you will feel respected without acting aggressive. People with poor social skills are more likely to suffer from psychological problems (depression or anxiety) and psychosomatic disorders.
- Having the ability to initiate a conversation with people in any given situation and cause a great impression.
- Knowing how to behave in any situation, any setting and with people from different cultures.
- Be able to use nonverbal communication in your favor. Be able to read the body language of others so you can empathize with their feelings.
- Be able to learn effective parenting tips to help your child grow up with the right skills and confidence.
What will I talk about on this blog?
All about personal growth and what will give you or someone you love the best chances of becoming that 10 % of the population who is truly happy. I want to make it light, easy to read and refreshing, most of all I want you to feel empowered to become the best version of you as an individual or as a parent.
What categories will this blog have?
- Social Skills and Leadership:
Think having high IQ is crucial to be successful? Think again! Research shows that even if you have a very high IQ if you do not have emotional intelligence, you will not go very far in life. Not being assertive, having difficulty communicating with others, transmitting and managing emotions, feeling uncomfortable with strangers, not knowing how to behave properly or not being aware of nonverbal communication, are typical characteristics not having proper social skills. On the contrary, an individual who has social and emotional intelligence will see rewards not only personally but in all kinds of contexts, it will positively affect his life. We are not born with social abilities, we learn them and practice them, so it starts with our willingness to improve for us and for our kids.
- Youth Social Skills:
In a time where it seems we are losing civility, society and work are increasingly more diverse and global, social skills and manners are essential for a child to grow up with the right baggage to succeed personally, socially and professionally in their future. We see it with all the coexisting rules we have now more than before and the interactions we must make every day! Rules and interactions in public places, buildings, neighborhoods, restaurants, schools, colleges and the immense world of electronics our kids are now growing up with (phones, internet, emails, iPad…) All of these are indicators that helping future generations have social skills and manners is necessary. Helping our kids have manners and social skills will ensure they develop smoothly, with the confidence of knowing how to approach others and take care of their relationships.
Why is it important for us to learn about these skills? Because it starts at home. The most important and biggest influence our kids will have is us. Furthermore, I worry when I see traditional education is more centered in stimulating academic competence than social-emotional development, these skills are sadly being put aside in the development of kids outside their homes leaving them with a huge gap in their development and not stimulating crucial abilities such as teamwork, kindness, communication skills, empathy and so many other abilities that will hugely impact their self-esteem and emotional intelligence. Yes, we want children who will develop academically, but do we want children who will have the right tools to integrate themselves properly into society? Who will be able to make connections and maintain healthy relationships? Who will be kind and compassionate? Who will have a healthy self-esteem, confidence, patience, and persistence to achieve the goals they set for themselves? Who will be able to manage their emotions in a healthy manner?
- International Etiquette and Protocol:
Good manners are more than a sign of respect and consideration towards others. It has the potential of making or breaking relationships. When we learn how to behave in any given situation, not only do we make an amazing impression, but it also makes our relationships stronger. When we behave with proper etiquette we make others feel at ease, respected and comfortable. The problem is that we live in a time where everybody is at full speed with their obligations and manners are often put aside, sadly future generations are picking up on these behaviors and growing up without having proper manners. Etiquette not a thing of the past, manners have changed, evolved and adapted to fit our time and culture, but they will always be essential to living together as a society.
How am I going to do this?
Not only from the knowledge I have acquired all these years with my studies on Psychology, Life Coaching, Etiquette, and Human Resources, also from my personal work and life experience and from the wisdom of amazing people I have met throughout this journey.
Can you imagine?
In this blog, you will not find classic self-help articles with a bunch of positive phrases or basic tips that do not specify anything. Everything I write about is supported by research and has been proven with extensive psychological testing. In this blog, I want to create a space where you can feel empowered and hopeful.
I am blessed to have a beautiful and supportive family. Two amazing and kind children who are my most valuable treasure. I love training and very much enjoy writing.
Shameless addictions? Ted talks, seafood, and Frank Sinatra.
Something you might not know about me? I absolutely love dancing! I am a former ballroom dancer.
“Accept, love yourself and work on becoming the best version of YOU”
Welcome everybody…It is an honor and pleasure to share my passion with you, so we can together work on building the future that we all desire and deserve.
